Malmesbury

Malmesbury has spent a thousand years trying to leave and landing badly every time. A monk strapped on homemade wings and jumped off the abbey tower, breaking both legs. The railway packed up and went, and the most famous escape since was two pigs from the abattoir who got as far as an orchard. Now the town's biggest employer designs vacuum cleaners on the edge of the hill and has them built on the other side of the world, and the people who stayed worked out long ago that the hill was the whole point.