Staines-upon-Thames

Staines put "upon-Thames" on the end of its name, the civic equivalent of wearing a blazer to a job interview, and everyone still calls it Staines. It was moved from Middlesex to Surrey in 1965 and has been more Surrey on the envelope than on the high street ever since, with Heathrow next door and the M25 at the end of the road. The river gave it the name, the gravel it was built on and, every few decades, an unwanted visit to the ground floor. This is also a town that once raced cheetahs against greyhounds, so it has never lacked ambition, only a bridge that stayed up first time.