Hailsham

Hailsham is a market town whose biggest historical export was the rope they used to hang people, which tells you most of what you need to know about its sense of civic pride. Henry III gave it a market charter in 1252 and the town has been waiting for something equally exciting to happen ever since, although the row over whether Aldi could knock down the cattle market filled most of the noughties nicely. The railway closed in 1968 to the sound of detonators and a crowd singing Auld Lang Syne, which is the most dramatic thing that has happened on a Tuesday in Wealden, before or since. Bring a car and a hobby.