New Southgate

New Southgate spent decades scrubbing the name Colney Hatch off its schools and churches so nobody would think of the asylum, and it still can't decide which borough it belongs to, splitting itself between Barnet, Enfield and, if you squint at the station map, Haringey. The North Circular runs along its southern edge, so most people who know the place have only ever seen it through a windscreen at walking pace. Jerome K Jerome lived on Springfield Road and got a statue of a boat on the Millennium Green, a tribute that suits a suburb where most journeys involve sitting with company and going nowhere slowly. A Crossrail 2 spur is supposed to end here one day, if anyone ever builds it, so New Southgate is waiting for a train that doesn't exist to rescue it from a road that very much does.